In the future we'll all be gay
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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