I just saw a hot homeless man
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
