That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
