How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
