it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize