Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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