We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
