Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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