that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize