i just google imaged poop.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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