You really coming over, don't trick.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
