I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
