I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
