I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
