i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
