Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
