How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
