I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
