I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
