i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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