Whod you bang
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
