I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
