i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
