just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
