We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
honey bunches of taint.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
