Moan for me like Helen Keller
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
