the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
