Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize