Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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