It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
