Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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