I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize