It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
