I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
