yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize