Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
