Your tits are I can't wait for
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
