My first STD was from a foam party
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
