dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
are you so shy because you have an std?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
try to milk me bitch
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