i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
