there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
pray to the hookup gods
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
