so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
