if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
this is an emotional support booty call
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
