I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
high people should be assigned attendants
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
