You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
