so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
