Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize