"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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