I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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