I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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