i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
