Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
