Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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