I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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