is your mom at the bar?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
God, I missed his penis.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
