I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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