I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
