You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
