Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize