just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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