If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
