i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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