Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
