Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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