There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
