I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
