i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
