I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize