I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
