i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
