let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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