my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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