i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
okay pat passed out under dana's car
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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