You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
