Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
