Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
