Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
