you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
